June 2012
1 tag
I feel better now. My love and I talked and she said the most beautiful and perfect thing to say to me during my insanity, she said im going to let u in on something, I beleive in love and following my heart. My heart is leading me to you.
Needless to say I was speechless
This is why I love ber so very much
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Would it really be that awful to remain long distance if that’s what it comes down to? Doesnt mean I didnt love her, but would I take it as she doesnt love me enough? Worse case scenario she decides to stay there, but that doesn’t mean forever does it? I think I could possibly go another few months, maybe.
I hate having no control over my life…
May 2012
6 tags
Confused
I hate myself. I’m sick of being a freaking looney tune. I don’t know if what I think is rational or just some crazy idea to feed into my fear of being left alone again. WTF am I supposed to think or feel? How am I supposed to get ready for it if I don’t know what it is? I’m drowning in fear and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m just so confused. This is why...
You know what? Fuck "friends", fuck "promises",...
5 tags
I can’t sleep, again. I’m so freaking scared and depressed. Im triggered and I wish I could fall asleep to have an easier way out.
I just dont know what to do. I just have a bad feeling that its over now. Nothing I can do to save it. Makes me really sad, makes me feel stupid for ever beleiving that it would ever work out.
Im shutting down even though I dont want to, im creating space...
